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I'm So Sorry

Updated: May 3, 2023

My best ideas and philosophical thoughts come to me while I'm in the shower. Figures. Helpless to take notes or record my thoughts, (have I mentioned I have memory problems?) I repeat the thoughts over and over again. If it's about a green wagon with a snot-nosed kid riding in it, I just repeat "wagon, snot, green, kid" over and over again. The problem with this method is while I'm doing this more thoughts enter my gray matter caverns and crevices and I end up standing there like fat wet dog who teleported to the shower and forgot what to do. Like, do I shampoo? Condition? Wash my parts? Shave? OH MY GOSH....WHAT DO I NEED TO CLEAN? I can't smell my wet hair because it's, well, WET so I start all over again. "Wagon, green, snot....."

Ugh! I'm over it. So frustrating. So I let the idea go. Eventually something will happen that jogs my memory and I'm back in business. Such is the case today.


Aside from the obvious, have you ever wondered why people cry so much at funerals? Or why people say "so sorry for your loss." Why are they sorry? They didn't do anything. Loss? I didn't lose anything. Loss implies it can be found again, no? I mean, if you break it down that truly means you'll find whatever you lost. Wouldn't it be better to say "Grandma Moses was awesome. I'll miss her but I'll bet not as much as you will. How can I help you through this?" I say "I'm sorry for your loss" but why? Then there's all the tears.


They say the more people at a funeral the more awesome the person was. I know how many will attend mine. Me. The tears falling from so many leaking eyeballs could probably hydrate a lot of gypsies but the more people the deceased knew, the more tears there will be. The more tears there are, the higher the chance of creating brooks, streams, lakes, and rivers. That's potential for reversing the global drought problem all because someone was awesome! Unless said person was an asshole. Then the tears are useless as they come from paid actors so the teats are as useful as wearing a bikini in a snowstorm. But why do we cry?


I believe we cry over what was, what won't be, things said, things unsaid, memories shared, memories that won't be made. I once heard that grief is love with no place to go. It makes sense. And the more it hurts, the more the love was real. Anytime something good ends, regardless of what it is, we tend to look back at all of the positivity it brought to our lives and all of the special moments that made our hearts smile. We cry over deep regret about not taking every opportunity to spend time together. We cry deep inside we know that one day we will forget how they looked and sounded when they laughed. How they smiled, smelled, held you when you were happy, sad, disappointed, and the sparkle in their eye when they said "I love you" or "I'm proud of you." We can't handle forgetting them in that very moment because that kind of hurt is too much for any person to bear and we'd deny that we'd ever forget someone we love that much. But we will and we do.


Water has long been known for its healing power ever since God created it. We bathe in it to be clean. We drink it to keep our bodies healthy. We look at bodies of water and feel peace. When overcome with joy we cry and when overcome with grief we cry. The more we cry over someone we lose, the heavier the loss and deeper the love and it hurts. A lot.


Those cleansing, healing tears are full of love but that love has no place to go. Or does it? Look around you. It has plenty of places to go. Don't miss any opportunities while you still have them. Don't waste time being angry, hurt, or resentful. Life doesn't offer a redo. The more awesome we are to one another, the more tears will be shed and the more tears are shed, the faster we fix this whole drought thing. But, you know, after the snot from ugly crying is filtered out, reverse this, reverse that, osmosis, blah blah blah, is done. Start now before it's too late.


One more thing. Ironically, or maybe not, my crappiest ideas trot into my semi-functioning mind while I'm um....you know.....making stinkies. Hey, you were warned I operate this way

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Glad to see you've found an outlet for your musings! I'll hang out with you.❤🩷💜

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