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Till death do us part …

Till death do us part…

My mom died last June 2023. This past year has been one of the most difficult and mind blowing years of my life.

After my mom passed I made several large discoveries.  To help you understand, I’ll give a little backstory.

My mom has always been a secretive person. I do not know much about her life before my birth in 1973.  I do know some things to lead me to conclude she led a fast and wild life before me.  I discovered my mother had actually given birth to three daughters before me.  Wow! I have three sisters incredible!  This was confirmed through dna tests.

One mystery that remained was who my biological father was. I’d always been confused, my mom would never give me a straight story and my step father was a completely different race than me making it hard to discern that he was my true father.  One name that I heard as a potential father was at age 17 when I was joining the Army. It wasn’t until age 49 that I would discover my true biological father with that same name January 2023.  Along with with my father came four biological sisters! four!! Making a total of seven, yes seven sisters that I had no idea about.

Well my true father was also confirmed through a dna test.  Patrick! You are the father!!

I had the pleasure and honor of meeting my father and four sisters last week. They changed my life forever. I finally have a name and identity… finally after all of these years.

So as you can see challenging and mind blowing.

Here s the kicker.  When I was saying goodbye to my mother last year, I noticed something special take place. There was no more anger that I held towards my abusive mother, there was no resentment, no negativity. I only felt an overwhelming sense of love. All was forgotten and forgiven instantly.

Then I said goodbye to my best friend forever.

Because my father is now 76, I have decided to move to where he is to spend a few years with him only to have to say good bye again.

I’m trying not to think about such a thing but it always seems to creep back into my mind.  I’m just thankful for the time I do have with him and my new found family.

So, lesson learned. Forgive each other daily for being human. Our Parents are human, we as parents are human and can only hope our children can see that too.  I never gave my mom credit for her trauma in her life causing her to run across country without telling a soul, simply disappearing. For keeping her past a secret. The possible cause of her alcohol abuse.  Somewhere somehow we learn to idolize our parents. They can do no wrong. But they seem to always be the blame for our own problems …. If I only had this insight then I would have pulled my mother close to me rather than all the years I spent pushing her away.

Now I have a chance with my father.   I feel nothing but love. What a gift.

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Hey, precious daughter! Betcha never thought I'd run across this, didya? I love it! You're sooooo funny!!! I love you, baby girl!!

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